Is there another way to do the tweens and teen years?

So much is written and discussed about the overwhelming, confusing, daunting, frustrating and disempowering role of parenting tweens and teens.  
SO much reference is made to the trickiness of doing this in these current times.  
So much fear and anxiety pervades our bodies, minds, our newstreams, our Facebook walls and our table conversations.
We get this.  
We see it and experience it too.  


Yet we are deeply committed at Contemporary Parenting to explore another way.  A way in which we can bring up our tweens and teens with connection, love, joy and ease.  OK, perhaps less ease as lets face it, they are subject to changing architecture of their brains and their hormonal fluxes, yet we still believe there can be a high degree of ease.  

 
We’ve drilled down to our top 3 tips to achieve this.

  1. Realistic and developmentally appropriate expectations
  2. Cultivate healthy brains by creating an environment of safe connection
  3. Hold firm boundaries -...
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Boundaries - What's in them anyway?

boundaries connection Aug 18, 2016

Invisible Lines

Good fences make good neighbours, the saying goes. The same may be said for children. Boundaries are the invisible lines that concerned, loving and insightful parents hopefully put in place in those instances when we know something will no longer serve our children or those around them.

They are the lollipop man of parenting. They are concerned with our children's welfare and they are strong and non-negotiable yet they are not meant to hurt our children. They are rather meant to keep them from hurt.

Often parents feel boundaries need to be applied as a little like shock collar treatment -

if children step out of line then they get a zzzzt zzzzt so they learn to stay in line... this often looks like one or a combination of smacking, gating or grounding, fining, taking treats away or time out.

All of which apply pain to enforce the boundary with the belief that if there is enough pain the boundary will be respected.

Science is showing us that this not only breaks...

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