Are you coach or referee at home?

Do you find you are playing referee a lot in your child’s life?  

  • Blowing the whistle.
  • Yellow carding the extreme behaviours?
  • Red carding the worse behaviours?  

Are you constantly making a call on tussles:

  • Penalising and awarding penalties?  
  • Are you sure that your call is accurate and fair?
  • Did you have all the information to make the call?
  • Is making a call is the right thing to do?  

Being a referee is an incredibly stressful vocation. 

A ref is the official who watches a game (the game of our children’s lives perhaps) closely to ensure that the rules are adhered to and to arbitrate on matters arising from the play.

What we are suggesting is that we switch from referee to coach. 

Sports coaching can be defined as the process of motivating, guiding and training an individual in preparation for something. If we grow this definition to include that of life coaches then …

  • Coaches assist in the setting and...
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Silence. Do you have any?

Do you relish some silence in your busy home?

The truth is that our kids wish for that sometimes too. Do we ever consider how much we talk? Is it fairly continuous, albeit mostly with good intent. Just how much of that is necessary? Is it even useful? When we can learn to mind our words we can really use them more effectively. When we learn to use silence as a practice for letting our kids work stuff out for themselves, it becomes hugely powerful.

Open-hearted golden silence is a powerful presence.

Silence, when it is done in anger, is a form of violent communication. However silence that is held in a space that is loving, open & curious can be quite beautiful. Much of what we say, kids already know but we set them up to not listen by talking and repeating over and over again. When we start to limit our words, kids start to connect more with what we are saying as it is mindful and considered.

  • Say what you mean.
  • Mean what you say.
  • Commit to yourself to stop the cycle of...
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