Our reactivity undermines anything and everything we do. We wonder why we don't have influence over our children. We try and control through reactivity but we don't gather respect this way, we actually lose influence.
Screaming and shouting at our kids has been normalized. Yet if we look at the stress response that sits behind our screaming and their receiving our wrath it is anything but healthy. No one shouts when feeling calm, it is always a symptom of raised stress levels and coursing adrenalin and cortisol.
When we shout we amplify this toxic physical, mental and emotional state for us and our children. What this does is it clouds judgment and reason. It removes all of our higher order faculties that would be useful in a situation when discipline is required.
Remember, discipline shares the same root as disciple, which essentially means to lead. However when we try and influence our kids through our own reactivity rather than influencing them...